Skull & Colonnello CoOp Theater
by Nobodies Have Hearts
Summary: Skull & Colonnello as Steve and Bob from Splinter Cell Co-op Theater. Slight swearing. Serious Skull and funny Colo. And fat jokes.


It's totally ripped off Splinter Cell Co-op Theatre Part 6. Go watch that first so you get the idea. Yeah. _The entire plot belongs to X-Play! Not me!_

_Skull- Secret Agent Steve_

_Colonnello- Special Agent Bob_

If enough people say so, I may do another one. But I'm working on a more serious fic. right now.

Also, there is **_a poll on my profile_** I would really appreciate you guys checking out. Thanks.

Warning: Slight swearing and **major** OOCness. Skull is serious for once.

* * *

"When you get caught between the moon and New York City-" Colonnello sang from atop the building, jumping up and down as he went. Skull was walking over to him, vaguely serious for once. Reborn had scolded him rather badly last time his mission went wrong, so he wanted this one to go over well, even if he was with Colonnello.

"What are you doing?" He asked from his crouched position. He didn't want anyone to see him, even if he was over 50 stories up. You could never know.

Colonnello stopped jumping.

"I don't know. I guess I'm just happy to have a mission in New York for once." The bland answered, staring over at the buildings in the distance. "You know, instead of Korea or Blaslak...a…valia."

"Yeah, I don't think that's a real place."

"Hey, do you think I could hit a window in the Chrysler building?" Colonnello said, changing the subject quickly and taking the gun off his back. Skull blinked.

"Why would you want to hit a window on the Chrysler building?"

"You know…For reconnaissance."

"Uh-huh." Skull shook his head. "Whatever, let's do this."

* * *

"Okay, move me to your left!" Colonnello called up. He was strapped to a line on his waist, hanging off the side of the building. Skull was on the roof lowering him down to avoid any lights that were on or windows with people. He was moving him the wrong way though. "You're other left!" The direction changed. "Yeah, right, thanks. Keep going!"

Skull grunted above him.

"Could you hurry it up? Geez!"

"Look, I'd let you repel if I could hold your tubby ass up. God, it's like lowering an elephant." Colonnello replied, standing now on a platform outside a window. He unhooked his belt. "You usually have cranes for that sort of thing."

"Oh, come on!" Skull whined back, rolling up his wire. "I'm not fat. I probably weigh less than you!"

"Yeah, if you were in an alternate dimension. Now shut up, Daddy has some spy work to do." Colonnello bumped into a railing slightly, causing it to unhinge and fall. "Crap!"

There was a loud crash from below. A car alarm went off.

Skull sat down on the roof, unable to do anything else.

"Okay, so, uh, I'll just hang out up here then." He sighed. "It's not like I wanted to do the mission anyway. I'll just look at the tourist lights."

Colonnello sighed over the radio, crawling through the window.

"For heaven's sake, why don't you just find another way in? I bet if I told you there was a box of donuts in here you could figure it out!"

Skull stood behind a locked door, making beeping sounds as he turned his infrared vision on his goggles on and off. He chuckled slightly.

"Will you shut up?" Colonnello screamed over the radio, kicking a man down for emphasis. Bodies were scattered all around him.

"Sorry." He mumbled back. "Hey, I found another way in but you're going to have to unlock the door."

"How am I supposed to know where you are?" The other asked, roaming the halls filled with dead people.

"Hold on." Was his answer as Skull turned his special effects back on. He looked through the door. "Um, there's some dude on the floor."

"Boy, that _really_ narrows it down, thanks."

"Well, just look through my optic cable."

"We can do that?"

"Yeah," Skull nodded to himself even though the other couldn't see. "It's like that move _Ladyhawke_."

"Oh, I love that movie! Dr. Horowitz is awesome." Colonnello paused. "Before he got fat-"

"_Enough_ with that fat jokes already!" Colonnello came into his vision through the door. "Okay, there, I see you!"

"Where?" He asked standing right outside the door Skull was at.

"Here."

"Where the hell is _'here'_" Colonnello asked, going back the way he had come. "Did they give you your own zip code or something? Come on, what's the number?"

"No, darn it, sempai, you know where I'm at." Colonnello came back around the corner.

"Are you in here?"

Colonnello kicked the door open. Skull, with no time to move, was thrown back against the wall. His head bled slightly.

"Ah!"He groaned in pain. Colonnello rushed over to him. The door closed.

"Oops. Man, I'm sorry. I though your enormous size would keep the door from opening."

"Sempai. Dying." He ground out. Colonnello pulled out a needle he kept in his bag.

"Oh, right! You need insulin. Because your craving for sweets has left you a diabetic." He shoved the needle into Skull's leg, who groaned as he sat up.

"You have diabetes too, stupid."

"Yeah but I got mine they man way! By trying to drink myself to death." He turned back toward the door. "Almost worked too." He jiggled the handle. It didn't budge.

"Whoops."

"You locked us out, didn't you?"

"I'm not going to lie to you."

Skull sighed again before heading back up the stairs.

"I hate you so much right now."

* * *

"Come on _Ladyhawke, _don't be that way." Colonnello whispered from his rooftop perch. This time he was left alone while Skull climbed his way down on the ledges. Right now he hung outside a window.

"Shut. Up." Skull whispered back. His hands were starting to sting.

"What's taking so long, _Ladyhawke_?"

"Some guard won't stop looking out the window. I can't believe he doesn't see me; I'm hanging right outside the ledge. Hello!"

Colonnello paused.

"Wait, you can hold your own body weight up?"

The guard turned around and Skull jumped into the room. He grabbed the guard by the neck, knife pushing against his throat, and dragged him to the window.

"You want to see the skyline, huh?" He yelled, taking his anger out on the innocent guard.

"Skull? Skull…What are you doing?" His partner asked, worried about the screams on the radio.

"Look! I said look!" Skull yelled, ignoring Colonnello. "It's the Chrysler building. Is that what you were looking at?" The guard kept quiet. Colonnello huffed.

"Jesus, we need a safety word."

"Say you love it! Say you frickin' love it!"

"Is…Is that the safety word?"

"Say it!"

"I love it!"

"Not you, sempai." Skull told him, tossing the now dead guard aside.

"Yeah, okay." Colonnello turned on his base radio. "Base, this is Colonnello. Fatty is on the ice cream truck. I repeat, Fatty is on the ice cream truck. I'm going to need backup and a big gurney."

In the background, he could hear Skull giving an evil laugh.

It was just one of those days.

* * *

Aw, Skull, you aren't fat!

Watch video here: (take out spaces) http:/ www. youtube. com/watch?v=OEOdU lSprm0&feature =related

I do give a swearing warning though.


End file.
